Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Wrong Again

Wrong
Again
Still
Always
Evermore
I am faced, once more, with the question
Of failure
Of accusation
Of the end.
From darling to dolt
From lover to liar
From cherished to chastised.
I know I have much to learn
About relationship
About about giving of myself
About comprehending and decrying my shortcomings
Why oh why
Do I fail to see my wrongdoing
I believed this beyond my control
This change
This inability to perform as promised
Yet I hear only
Hurt
Devastation
Broken trust
Lying
The promise never to quit
Or give up
Tossed aside as readily as unwanted junk mail
It seems no time
Is more to be desired than some time.
I have done my best to honor another life
Other desires
Other plans
To be sure I am not a taker
To leave intact the hard won accomplishments
To never inflict myself
And now I am a con
And liar of first degree
Unaccountable
Giving short shrift
Choosing another first
Overwheming pain
Fear
Doubt
Invalidate my own
I wonder
How do I respond
Bitter words
Anger
Hurt
Lie ready at the tip of my tongue
And so I avoid
Remain silent
Silence is better than words I may regret
My only defense against haste
The biting of my tongue
Separates
Divides
Wounds further
I hurt and cannot say it
I am wronged and cannot show it
I do not have a side
A point
I can only apologize for who I am
A hurter
A liar
A failure
Once again




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